These guys are my Big Three. They inspire me and entertain me. If you're big on reading, check them out. If you want to be a writer, you'll learn more about it from them than any class could ever teach.

Steven Karl Zoltán Brust, author of the Vlad Taltos series. Wit beyond measure. Great action. Badass.

Joel (Not "C.") Rosenberg, author of the Guardians of the Flame and Keepers of the Hidden Ways series. Greatest. Writer. Ever. No, really: EVER.

Leo Frankowski, author of the Conrad Stargard series. He loses me on some of the technical stuff, and the ethics of some characters make me cringe, but he's awesome in telling a story.

Care to know what else went into making me me? Try these:
The Bob and Tom Show
D&D
Stephen King
Loyal Browncoats unite!

Trying to squeeze one more line of sarcastic, witty dialog into a post. Then, I rewrite it until it has just the right amount of rude-to-charming ratio and hit "Preview". Then I wait and hope I haven't offended anyone, which (oddly) is the exact intent Caden would have.

The same as yours. I was born, I'm living. Someday I'll die. In between I read alot. If you like to read, check out the Vlad Taltos series by Steven Brust. Then go read anything by Joel Rosenberg (not Joel C. Rosenberg). Ditto for Leo Frankowski. If you don't enjoy witty male writers, go read a genius lady writer - J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. By the way, I'd be Jhereg.